I’m trying to gain weight. Simply bringing that thought up, I’m sure, will elicit some violent reactions. Yes, I am aware that millions of people are willing to spend an arm and a leg in the quest to lose weight. The countless books, diet programs, and exercise machines being sold today are testament to that. This, however, is precisely what the problem, my problem, is. Everybody else is focused on losing weight, so the skinny guy trying to pack on the pounds is left alone.

I’ve had enough of this, and I say it’s time the skinny guy gets the support he needs. On top of this, I have a program that will also help overweight people eat less. It’s a simple program with one basic principle: distribute resources according to need.

Simple, isn’t it? If you want to gain weight, you need to eat more. Therefore, you need more food. To get more food, you need to spend more money. In order to spend more money, you need to have more money to spend. Ergo, we need more money.

Those who need to lose weight, need to eat less. In fact, they should eat less. Since they need less food, so they don’t need to spend as much. Because they don’t need to spend as much… well, I’m sure by now, you can see where I’m going.

The program will go like this: those who are trying to lose weight should subsidize the food expenses of those trying to gain weight. This way, both parties get closer to their goals.

So, watchathink?